Thursday, August 15, 2013

Change

Posted by CheapRunnerMichelle

Yeah - so excited today is my Friday this week! Last day of work and then 3 whole days off together!!!...and the weather is finally looking somewhat promising for maybe a beach day this weekend...fingers crossed anyways

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I am the type of person that for the most part is pretty easy going when it comes to change. I do not mind it, nor do I fear it - like so many others seem to.

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Lately there seems to be quite a bit of change going on both directly and in-directly in my life. Which has really had me thinking...why is it so easy for some people to accept change, yet others find it to be such a struggle.
So let's break it down...why do "we" as humans find change to be so scary thus making us want to shy away from it

1. Lack of knowledge. We simply don’t realize that we need to change. We get comfortable in the bubble that we build around ourselves and become afraid of the unknown and what will happen if we make changes

2. Lack of willpower. We know we need to change, but we just don’t want to. The problem with having a lack of motivation to change means that you can really miss out on life

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Common sense would suggest that if we know we need to change, then we should just do it and - change

Unfortunately, we rarely do....but Why?!?!

Why is it so hard to find to change when we already know that we need to?

It’s painful to change. It’s uncomfortable. It’s difficult.

And avoiding pain is innate. It comes standard in all us humans.We are in fact hard-wired to avoid pain.

Why? Because it’s a signal of danger.

When you accidentally touch a hot stove, you don’t have to make a conscious decision to yank your hand away…it happens instinctively. And that’s a good thing. Pain indicates danger, and your body immediately responds by removing the threat.
But pain doesn’t always represent actual danger. Sometimes, it merely represents the possibility of danger.

Which is exactly what the pain associated with change usually is.

We like “comfortable.” Comfortable represents familiarity, and familiarity represents safety.

Because of that, we instinctively associate unfamiliarity with danger. If we’re unfamiliar with the result of a proposed change, we assume it’s an uncomfortable result.

So we avoid it.

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There are a host of reasons why change is difficult, so let's talk about a few:

1. We often try to change too much to quickly.
Biting off more than we can chew may be the single biggest contributor to resistance to change. Instantaneously trying to go from no change to massive change can quickly send us into a state of shock. Shock often leads to paralysis, and paralysis is the opposite of movement (i.e. change).

How to overcome this: Make small changes instead....Baby steps. Small success leads to more success, which leads to momentum. Momentum propels you toward large, lasting change.

2. We become discouraged because we have failed at making these changes before in our life. Because change is difficult, we sometimes fail. What we hoped and planned was going to be a lasting change turns into a quick, passing phase. Past failures can translate into present discouragement.

How to overcome this: Instead of reacting to past failures by becoming discouraged, proactively turn past failures into learning experiences. Go back and figure out where in the process things broke down and come up with a plan to overcome that step this time.

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3. We fear that the effort to change might not be worth it in the end. What if we spend a huge amount of time and energy trying to change and then find out that the end result isn’t even worth it?

How to overcome this: Don’t let this faze you, though. Not every change you make will be worth it. Many will be, but some won’t be....and that's ok.
Even if the end result isn’t all that you hoped it would be, you will have grown along the way. By going through the process of change, you will have increased your ability to change.

4. We are not convinced we need to change in the first place.
How to overcome this: Find other people who you would see as having needed to make the same or similar change in their life, but who chose not to. See how their refusal to make the change has played out in their lives. If it’s been detrimental, consider being wise and making the change in your own life.

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Let's face it...the world around us and the people around us are constantly changing...so I guess the only question left is whether we choose to change along with it/them or not.

What's one change you have going on in your life?

In 3 weeks both of my kiddos will be in school - as this is Jackson's 1st year.

Do you fear/hate change?

I don't...I think change is what keeps life exciting
Is it anyone else's Friday today?

10 comments:

  1. Charlotte@CommitnessToFitnessAugust 15, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    great post!! i have a lot of change coming up- my boyfriend is moving across the country in 2 weeks and i'll be moving across the country to join him next spring. its scary, and exciting, and sad and happy all at the same time. change is life.

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  2. Great post, Michelle!!!
    I have always thrived on change although I've noticed as I've gotten older that some changes now cause me a little stress.
    We are currently making a big change here - we are buying a business and I'm excited about it but a bit nervous, too!!!

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  3. Awesome post!

    My personal take is that change is always good - just takes us some time to figure out the good part :)

    Shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com

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  4. You just need to look at it as an exciting adventure...and a time to grow!...but it will be totally sad to be without your boyfriend for the next several months...time to find a "new normal" for awhile

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  5. Thanks Kim!
    ...I am so happy that I am not a stress ball or worry wart!
    Wow...that is very exciting - a big new chapter in your lives - I look forward to hearing all about your journey

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  6. I like the idea of change, thinking of doing it causes anxiety for me. But doing it feels great and I can't imagine how I wouldn't have done it! The Mark Twain quote is right on point!

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  7. Sugar Coated SheridanAugust 15, 2013 at 10:33 PM

    Love this! I think I always hate change because I'm a MAJOR control freak and if I'm not in control of the change then I automatically think it's a bad thing. I've realized this more in the past few years and tried to embrace it...I think it's getting easier for me to accept change now :)

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  8. Awesome post!!! My husband had two job changes in 7 months. He is almost 50 so this is not quite where we thought we would be at this age. I realize somethings are out of our control and that it is for the better, but at the time it does not always feel that way.

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  9. Girl you are singing my song. I am such a creature of habit and love to live in my little bubble. But when I'm forced out of it, I find that I grow so much more even when I don't want to. Ha! Have a great weekend!

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